Will You Marry Me?

I have just uncovered a disturbing revelation. My mom is seriously wanting me to have a boyfriend and possibly get married in the soonest possible time. If nothing is scarier than that, I don’t know what is! Turns out that she called up my Tita Dette one night when she (my mum) was in Bohol. My mum was crying, and Tita Dette was understandably worried. She thought something happened to my dad or to my brother or to me. My mum said she was depressed about moi. When my Tita Dette asked why, she said “Kase wala pang boyfriend yung anak ko!” I seriously think that there is something horribly wrong with my mother. Di ba dapat ako yung worried? Ako dapat yung namumrublema nun? What gives?!?!

I think my mum is envious of her friends who have married off some of their kids already. I know she’s worried about me, and the fact that I’ve never had a significant other in my life further adds to her dismay. She’s worried that I’ll grow old to be alone, with no one to care for me when she and dad are gone. I understand her sentiments. Granted, a mother should worry about those things, but not to that extreme.

I’m not worried at all. The reason is that I’ve put my full trust in Him that He’ll take care of me whatever happens – whether I’m alone or with someone else. It was a very conscious decision on my part. If He says, I try my utmost to do. I know He is still preparing me for His plans. I don’t know if there’s a someone in His plans for me (I sure hope there is!), but I know no matter what happens, He’s there. Who knows, maybe we’re both being prepared for each other ‘coz we’re still rough around the edges (especially me, knowing how stubborn and hard headed I am). I believe and know He’s very happy whenever He sees two people falling deeply in love in His time. But in the meantime, as long as my significant other is not here yet, well, I’m doing what He wants me to do. I want to be beautiful in God’s eyes. I do.

I have bouts of loneliness every now and then, and I feel a pang of envy sometimes whenever I see couples holding hands, laughing, smiling or just…being with each other. More so when the couples I see are elderly. I look around, too (don’t think I do), in case my significant other is already somewhere around the vicinity of my life. It’s just that I don’t think it’s something to be worried about yet, or, ever. Or something to cry about.

I’d like my relationships in the future to be very meaningful and not just a so-so chapter in someone else’s life. I want to be a worthy chapter in a guy’s life who, in case we don’t end up with each other, will look back and remember me with fondness. Such a tall order, isn’t it? But definitely worth it.


Meet my last college crush, Friar

I nearly got into so much trouble with this guy. I met him during my senior year, and thanks to the Internet’s amazing capabilities, I managed to secure his high school grad pic and made it my screen saver. Law was pestering me to change my screen saver, because “gusto mo bang maraming makakita at makaalam niyan?” since my laptop was always used in our group’s presentation and in revising our papers in the RSF. I reluctantly relented, and thank the heavens I did, ‘coz the next class we went to, our teacher gave a long lecture right after our group’s presentation and my screen saver came on the laptop facing the whole class. Whew. Buti na lang nakinig ako.