On Loneliness

First, I'm sharing an incident that happened just this morning at the MRT station. I got out of the car and followed my brother up the steps leading to the trains. A voice at my right asked, "Saan ka nag-wo-work?" I ignored it, of course, since I figured if it's someone I know he/she would've called out my name first, or, call me by my name should I remain silent after the question. This guy didn't. He asked that question again, and when I turned to see who that person was, I didn't have any bloody idea who he was. He was smiling, smirking, as he watched my obvious confusion as to who the bloody hell was he. I lowered my eyes, trying to project that I was a bit flustered, but in truth I was close to screaming "Sod off, you nasty wanker!" I know that I shouldn't have judged him by the way he looked, but he looked so creepy. He was unshaven, looked unclean, and he freaked me out. It was 7 o'clock in the bloody morning! Guys, please do not try to pick girls up at that uncivilized hour, especially when you're in the morning rush between seven to nine AM, in the city called Metro Manila. I love the city, but hell, we do have some colorful and shady characters going all around the metropolis. Those situations that two strangers meet each other on the subway or on the bus or on wherever only happens in the movies, got that? It rarely happens in real life. Or maybe I'm the kind of girl that attracts shady characters at seven on the morning. Haha, call that animal magnetism.

I got my PS yesterday afternoon, and I feel absolutely blessed! I do, I really do. I didn't count my moolah at the office because I was too shy to do so. I called my mum and dad, and they were so proud and happy for me. When I hung up, I still felt the need to share the good news with a particular third person, but then it hit me: I do not have that particular person to share it with. That person is non-existent, and at that moment I felt at a loss for emotions, for words. The third person that I'm talking about is supposed to be my significant other. Since I don't have one, I was hit by a pang of loneliness, of wistfulness, of ache, perhaps. I imagined that if there was this someone for me, I think he would be the one that I'd call first. Really. I would've wanted to share the news with him first. But he's not here, with me (yet). I don't even know who he is! That loneliness resonated within me throughout the day. And it was a reminder that I am still human. I forget it most of the time.

I'd like to end my entry with one of the best lines from my all-time favorite, feel good, life-is-brilliantly, poignantly beautiful movie, Meet Joe Black. The scene is where Bill Parrish (Anthony Hopkins) his daughter Susan (Claire Forlani) are on board his helicopter, having a talk about (guess what?) love. Here goes.

Bill: I know it’s a cornball thing. But love is passion, obsession. Something you can’t live without. I say, fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. I’m not hearing any heart. ‘Cause the truth is, honey, there’s no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven’t lived a life at all. But you have to try, ‘cause if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived.

I haven't quite mastered the "forget your head and you listen to your heart" skill, but hey, I'm trying. I'm doing my utmost. And it's looking beautiful ahead.

Mixed emotions

Just watched ‘Closer.’ ‘Tis a beautiful movie, but one that won’t probably appreciated by most people. It captured raw and real emotions very reminiscent of the reality TV shows prevalent today. And it bloody played with my emotions and my mind as well.

Jude Law was brilliant as Dan, the photographer who’s obsessively in love with Anna, the character played by the heartbreakingly beautiful Julia Roberts. Clive Owen and Natalie Portman were a bit rusty, but they gave stellar performances. I feel Natalie looks too clean and innocent to play a stripper, you would really think she’s acting, but you gotta give her an A for effort. Summary of the plot? They screwed each other, broke up, got back together, and then broke up again. I can’t get any blunter than that. The bloody movie plays with the audience’s emotions; hell, I can’t even tell who’s telling the truth or not even after the movie ended. “Why did you tell me?” “Because we promised each other to always tell the truth…” (after admitting sleeping with someone). The truth almost always makes you feel you just slammed into a brick wall and then you end up wishing you hadn’t heard the truth at all. But you still want the truth because in the end, you can’t live without knowing the truth. (Why do I feel like Morpheus here?) Brilliant. Truth is both absolute and relative; it takes faith to discern what you would believe, what you want to believe. (I am thanking my Philosophy classes for making me think. I do hope my professor’s proud of me.) I’m cutting this short, precisely because I do not know how to end this, this is just me thinking out loud. I might revise this should I ever get my thoughts together.

saturday fun fun fun!

sana'y masabi sa awit kong ito
Originally uploaded by euniceiscrazy.

Yesterday we had a Sales and Service Rally on my company. It was so fun, I really enjoyed myself. The day's activities included the group competition of the various teams composed of our branches all over the Philippines, and it was so funny seeing them in such a different, light-hearted mood. My boss' daughter, Niki, who just happened to be the It girl from the newest Coke commercial, was there and rendered two songs: the one she sang from her commercial, and Mariah Carey's "Hero." I must say, that girl not only has the beauty and the brains, but one of the best voices I've ever heard (and I'm not sucking up because my boss doesn't even know I have a blog). Ang lupit! She's pretty young, only seventeen, and she's the girl version of my boss.

Afterwards we all headed for Bagaberde for an evening of food, fellowship and fun. MYMP and U-Turn played and...wow, ayos! And then we danced the night away!!! Me and Jody both had our respective "Crushes of the Night." I even got a picture of my crush for the night, thanks to my handy dandy camera. 'Tis a harmless crush, really.

sana'y masabi sa awit kong ito...Ü

after a couple of dances

after a couple of dances
Originally uploaded by euniceiscrazy.

dan the accountant slash MBA slash huskyboy, sigrid idith, jen the hot rocker chick, will the meek hunk, and lil ol' moi

almost the whole 4th floor

almost the whole 4th floor
Originally uploaded by euniceiscrazy.

partying it up at Bagaberde

toy soldier

toy soldier
Originally uploaded by euniceiscrazy.

me with william andrew lee, the phatest looking toy soldier i've ever seen

obsession goes pffffttttttt, kaput, zilch, nada

Great. My Orlando obsession lasted for about two weeks then it went pffffttttt this morning. The Jude Law semi-obsession lasted about a day and a half, and the Elijah goo-goo eyes about one hour. My heart is so inconstant then (or maybe it's the fact that I never really, truly liked these guys in the first place). They just actors, for crying out loud. (Good looking actors, fine, but actors nonetheless. I can hear my friends say, "ahahahay, finally she comes back to earth.") Yeah yeah, I'm back to earth.

my bouts with obsession (for foreign actors) came to a peak about a year ago with Daniel Radcliffe. Yes, he's the young guy who played Harry Potter. I wasn't as expressive of it like with my Orlando obsession, but it was more...manic. Maybe I didn't want my friends to know that I fancy younger guys lest I be labeled a pedophile ("my goodness, E-----, he's just fifteen!") Everytime I remember what I did during the height of HP3, I cringe and lament over the money I spent. I watched it four times in the big screen (broke my LOTR3 record of three), and...well, I won't go to the details. The fire dies out, eventually, as you can see.

I can see myself cringing in the future when I will look back to my Orlando obsession. Honestly, now, what in the bloody hell was I thinking? I learned to use the adjective "bloody" for every noun in my sentence, the use of British slang words like telly, bloke, mate (the others are unrpintable). I think most girls had a bout with obsession for foreign actors and singers, but hey, it's a part of growing up. Of being a girl. Of still being able to realize that gorgeous faces still make my heart beat faster. Of being able to realize that they may be gorgeous, but then, (and now) they're just...faces. No substance. And most of all, to be able to realize that it takes more than a gorgeous face to make my heart beat faster in the long run. (naks, how very touchy feely). What does it take, you ask? Well, that's another story. *smile*

obsessed about orlando

yes! i admit it! and i am PROUD to admit it! i have fallen madly in love with Orlando Bloom (i wish you could hear me sigh...)!!! and before you say "you and every other hot-blooded woman who's seen LOTR," take note that yes, he was gorgeous in LOTR, but i was drooling over Viggo a.k.a. King Aragorn. Orlando was too clean back in LOTR. i have a preference over rugged males. so when i saw Pirates of the Carribean on cable last weekend, i just found myself staring at the telly, waiting for the close-up of that dashing William Turner (see, i even started using Brit slang to get in the mood). My wallpaper is, of course, a black haired Orlando, with those dark intense eyes staring at me all the time. In fact, whilst i was talking to one of my male friends over the phone yesterday, i promptly drifted off when i saw him on my PC. after a few moments my friend said, "hey are you still there?" "Oh, sorry, I was staring at Orlando right now, C----, how can you possibly compete?" I could almost see him roll his eyes at my response.

I just love the symmetry of his face. I am a sucker for dark eyes and great smile (ha, can you tell? Read my previous post about Constantine), so it's no wonder i am obsessed with him right now. I know my adoration will soon fade, but heck, I haven't had a crush on someone in such a long time that I'm going to make the most out of this obsession of mine. I was seriously considering taking up my masters in England (yep, i was, am, that obsessed) just so the chance of me bumping into him was greater. Pathetic, huh? Give it a month and I'll probably be back to my old self. My flavor this March is the Mr. Orlando Bloom. But now I'm wondering who's going to be in April?