Confessions of a Frustrated Product Manager
Okay. I am thisclose to screaming when my boss said his parting words to me before he went home. But before that let me first describe him whom we'll call Night Santa (now don't give me that weird look. Hikaru was the one who gave that pseudonym, not moi. Go ask her.)
Look, Night Santa is good. He's very good in what he does. He's smart, maabilidad, and he gets things done faster than most of the people in the bank. He's not afraid in throwing his weight around (pun intended) in order to get a project finished in a given time frame. He's very particular, obsessed, down to the minutest detail. He's very demanding as well. Many an instance came that he and I had our share of showdowns: raised voices, with me stubbornly refusing and questioning everything he wants me to do, and him continuously firing me with questions that makes my head go into overdrive mode. He's STRESS waiting to happen!
But he's a self-proclaimed uber fashionista as well. He didn't say it that way but he gives off this vibe that he's one of the authorities when it comes to "high-end" fashion (yeah and that means???) He's always picking on my outfit almost every Friday ("Oh ba't nakahubo ka na naman?" he smart-assedly quipped when he saw me without my blazer after office hours. I was weirded out.) and he gives out great Christmas gifts (read: ONLY Zara and Mango for us girls!)
The thing that majorly ticked me off today was that he followed up with this big project we're doing with cards and it isn't ready yet. So I told him. Understandably, he was disappointed and frustrated because we're moving too slow. He told me to give him the revised version of the product program, and then off he went, muttering, "hay nako. Ganyan na naman kayo ha, pag madali ang bilis-bilis niyo gawin, pag mahirap..."
Uhm, hello? Weren't we taught to answer exam questions that way, tackle the easy ones first before doing the hard part? If I only focus on the big project I won't get anything done in the first place. And it's not as if I completely dropped the big project altogether. But, of course, everything is MY fault.
He and I also don't communicate well. I'm sorry but I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HIM. I thought I was the only one having trouble comprehending him. I was even considering attending verbal comprehension and business writing classes just so I can understand him better, but it turns out that the three other product managers are having trouble communicating with him, too. I'm always wrong, I don't write the way he wants me to write: concise, clear and with logical progression. Well, I'm really sorry for being inept and stupid, sir, but you seem to have forgotten that you and I exist on different levels. Besides, I didn't have someone to look up to as a role model of a product manager for bank deposits (for heaven's sake do you know how hard it is to market money nowadays? Of all the things bakit pera???). You're TOO OLD (he'd probably kill me if he sees this). I'm NEVER gonna be able to please you with anything so why the heck would I even bother to try??? Go take the credit for yourself, I don't care. And please, your career path is not something I want for myself - shame on you for deducing that my non-committal responses and bouts of silence constitutes agreement whenever you bring up my career paths and other units (if you did).
It's a good thing that I can be brutally honest and gutsy to tell it to his face that I don't understand him in some instances (and I'm sometimes tempted to add that I'm sorry for being stupid and not being able to understad what he says). He discusses plan A with me, and I totally understand plan B (tapos sa huli plan C pala masusunod.) But he got offended one time I told him that we're not communicating well. You should see us talk. It brings the term "lost in transalation" on a whole new level. So go on. Take all the credit, I won't care. I'm NEVER gonna be able to impress you, NEVER gonna be able to think like you do because I don't want to be like you (or your work at least). Not in this organization, or until you prove me wrong.
See how frustrations can cause incoherent thinking and blogging? Different POVs, lintek. My alma mater would've been ashamed of moi if they see how I butchered the English language in this entry. Pffft.