HANDS OFF!

I found this cool webpage on phobias. It has terms for the weirdest phobias ever, like mother-in-law phobia, fear of needles and other pointy things, fear of crossing the streets, and fear of sh*t (feces, WTH!?!).

Aphephobia – fear of touching or being touched
Anuptaphobia – fear of being single (naaaaah…)
Philophobia – fear of falling in love (guilty??? Hahaha)

My friend, the ever expressive Torpeh, has this freaky habit of pretending to be my boyfriend. She does yucky stuff like holding my hand (with and without warning), putting her arm around me while walking (I am about three inches taller than she is) and saying, “Babe naman, ano ba…” Ewwww. She is all girl, but she does these to me. Maybe she likes to see me squirm. I, of course, react with disgust and a grossed out face. And then she’ll do it over and over again, and sometimes she’ll even insert a kissy-kissy face here and there. Ugh. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, and I say this with perfect primal colegiala diction. No, she is NOT a lesbian, she has Juan Miguel, for crying out loud, and he knows what she’s doing to me, so she’s not bi. She claims she’s just preparing me once I manage to snag a boyfriend. And she gets a kick out of seeing me squirm uncomfortably.

I’ve never been comfortable in too physically intimate interactions, and that’s what my close friends usually complain about. When they hug me, I’m usually the one to break the embrace first, and they’d have to say, “Konti paaaaa…” or “Isa pa…” I don’t know why. I am uncomfortable with being physically close in contact to another person’s body (maybe if it was Hayden’s or Brad’s it wouldn’t be too bad). I don’t give out hugs that easily, especially if I’m not particularly really close to a person. I once slapped a guy for being too comfortable with me on our second date. I gave out a very clear warning, so it’s not my fault. Believe me, it was hilarious for the both of us. We’re good friends now.

I recognize that it is a human need to be touched, but it has to be in the right context. You don’t just embrace a stranger, do you?

I know I also need to be touched or feel another person’s hand holding mine. But I’d rather have it that he is someone I strongly like (or love!). How cheesy. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I'd like my touches to be remembered and treasured.

On an end note:
Torpeh and I were walking in Glorietta when she saw Barbie Almalbis and a guy eating in one of the restaurants. Barbie’s back was facing the sidewalk. Torpeh said, “Ohmygosh! Ang gwapo nung kasama niya! Balik tayo, please, please, please?” Of course me, the everlasting bubble burster, quipped, “[Torpeh], do you really want people to ogle you while you’re having dinner???”