I Feel Sick

I feel bloody sick right now. My joints are aching, my tummy's hurting. I'm feeling dizzy @c@. I wanna throw up. I must be overworked and over stressed. Bloody hell.

Lands of Dried Mangoes and Pomelos

I went to Cebu last Thursday to present my newest baby and our new business proposition to our BMs and the ABM of Visayas. The flight was quite uneventful, I only had a near-mishap when I couldn't recall the directions to our Cebu Area Office. I said to the cabbie, "Kuya, basta po 'yung (Bank name) sa may Osmena Blvd., yng papuntang Colon...pasensiya na po kasi po alam ko naman talaga kung saan yun, yun nga lang kasi hindi ko alam yung papunta ron kasi hindi naman po ako taga rito..." Thank goodness I had a good cabbie. He didn't even charge me the full rate from the airport to any point in Cebu City (which was about P250). He was charging me only about P175, and since I was feeling generous I gave him P200.
Our lunch was great! My favorite viand was pork and bananas with caramelized sauce. I asked Ms. Lanie the name of the viand, and of course I forgot its name as I am writing this now. Add to that the fact that I left Spiff in Manila, and I was two steps away of feeling like a complete ditz on my first day out. I lost too many great photo ops. Nakakainis. The view from the air was absolutely fantastic, I nearly broke the rule about not opening handphones inside an aircraft, since the camera I had was on my phone. Hayop talaga ang 'Pinas. I just can't understand why majority of the Filipinos want to leave this country. I really don't get it.

As my plane was touching down on Mactan, I was enthralled at Cebu's beautiful shoreline. It had underwater marshes that looked like submerged islands that even had canals going through it. Ay nako, basta. Nakakabuwisit.

They took us out on Ayala Center Cebu to go window shopping, and we saw this really cute, miniature scooter that seemed to be made for kids. Ang cute talaga, pramis. Kulay red pa. And then we walked around the mall. Yung shop na Loalde pala sa Cebu nag-originate, and there I was thinking that it was an international brand! Haha, Go Pinoy! Their clothes are cool. I bought a shirt from another store called USA Sports, and I think that it will become one of my favorite shirts. It's white and has a small, simple logo in front. At the back there's a phrase that I know most gals will love, in BIG LETTERS pa: GIRLS KICK BUTT! I'm gonna wear the shirt sa gym for body combat. Hehehe.

Davao was great! My boss and I visited three of our four Davao branches after we ate a sumptuous buffet lunch in...shucks, was it Aling Neneng's? Or simply Neneng's? Ang lakas ko talaga kumain, seryoso. Sa sobrang sarap ng mga pagkain sa probinsiya nakakalimutan ko yung tawag sa pagkain nila saka yung mga kinakainan namin. Ayan, kasi...katakawan! It doesn't show in my body nonetheless. Wehehehehehe.

For dinner in Davao, we went to a place called Suka at Sili (Vinegar and Chili), which turned out to be owned by the sister of Jaypee, my college mate. And, as usual, sa mga matakaw na katulad ko, everything was delicious. I ate kuhol, well, actually it was suso, but everybody's calling it kuhol. It looks like a green worm once you've sucked it out of its shell (and I found out that I was a good sucker. Wahahahahahah *evil grin*) I ate about a dozen of them. Then there was the tuna sisig that was so salty, the bulalo, the kilawin ( which I didn't eat because I don't like the stuff) and...dyaran-dyaraaaaaan...the crispy tuna tail. Oooohhhh, gastronomic delights. The tuna tail is infinitely better-tasting than crispy pata and it's healthier, too. And then there was also called the bulubol, which is essentially fish fat. It's the counterpart of the liempo's fat, and again, it's better for our health as well.

After dinner, my boss and I went back to the hotel lugging three cases of pomelos which Ms. Jean absolutely refused to let us pay for. I kidded her, "Naku, ma'am, baka hindi na ako payagang pumunta ng Davao ng mama ko kapag nalaman niyang di ko to binayaran...sige na, pumunta pa nga po siya sa room ko sa Cebu para lang ibigay yung pambili niyan, sayang naman yung pagod niya pag di niyo tanggapin..." (Yup, my mum went to Cebu as well, but she left a day earlier than I did, so we weren't able to share a room. Whew!) But of course, it was all futile. You gotta love Davao's hospitality =).

Of course, since Jaypee was already based in Davao, he took me out on its finest bars and resto after I finished watching the last episode of Hiram. First we picked up Chard, his friend and then went to BluGre, Starbucks' counterpart in Davao (Cebu has Bo's Coffee Club) where I got to meet two of his female friends, Caca and Lyn. Jaypee introduced me as his girl kabarkada with balls, hahaha, eh sino kayang nagturo/nag-expose sa akin sa lahat ng kabastusan at kabulastugan??? Yep, that's what I got for hanging around Gabs, Jaypee, Jayvee, Jae and Law. But they're really nice, seryoso. They're just...horny most of the time. So what I know about green-mindedness all came from those five guys. Oh, yeah, I can't leave Rosei out, so that makes them six teachers, majority of them, I believe, only taught me theoretical knowledge. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

We went to Pop's first, and upon entering I noticed a guy who was the spitting image of Marc Nelson. Since Jaypee knew the people the guy was with, he got introduced to him. Me, I just smiled and stared straight ahead (haha, lumabas ang pagka mahiyain ko). After we left, I asked Jayps if the guy was indeed Marc Nelson. He replied, "No the guy's name was Don." Oh, false alarm, then. We went over to Caca, Lyn and Chard's table and I asked Caca, "Hey, the guys back there looks like Marc Nelson." Caca replied, "Dear, I think that's really Marc Nelson..." I turned back to Jaypee and said, "Jayps, ano ka ba, si Marc Nelson kaya yon..." To which Jaypee replied, "Well, akala ko Don yung pangalan niya eh, saka hindi ko naman kilala yun, lalaki yun eh..." Hay nako, typical guy reply. Of course, Jaypee served me two glasses of hard drinks that he conveniently, or rather, intentionally forgot to tell me the contents thereof. Afterwards we went to Liquid at the Apo View, and Jaypee gave me a third glass of who knows what, which I drank with difficulty already. After a few minutes the alcohol was rocking my world and voila, it was time to go to the bathroom for me. Ick. I'm never trusting Jaypee again, hwahahahaha Ü

ang Fanget ng Host, Mare! (I can’t think of better words to describe it)

My colleagues and I went to FHM’s victory party last night. It was by invitation only, because Pao said they wanted to keep the jologs people out (Huh? So I can’t bring in half of my personality then?). He managed to snag some invites from his friend and Oli, Jody and I picked out our free magazines before heading for NBC Tent’s entrance. Pao, upon seeing the mags that we picked out, asked why didn’t we get the free FHM magazines (we picked out a gadget and a car magazine). I gave him a weird look and said, “What would I ever do with an FHM magazine?” Gadgets and cars are so much more exciting than semi-naked women in my opinion.

We milled for about a few minutes before heading inside the tent. Upon entering I decided I already wanted to go home because it was so packed! I didn’t want to smell the mixed odors of body sweat (Ick. Sorry guys, we girls may sweat more than you do, but at least we smell nice while sweating. Half of you smell horrible when you sweat. Haha, ang arte ko no?) Turns out, it was just the entrance that was so full of people. Once we navigated our way towards the stage, the crowd thinned a bit. At least I can still feel the air conditioning. There was a band playing rock music, and then after a couple of songs, Aubrey Miles opened the show with a dance number wherein she was a butterfly, complete with harness and wings. I know how to appreciate the female body; her legs are so to die for. Grabe. Guys around me were either hooting or staring transfixed on that writhing body of hers on stage. After Aubrey’s number came the reason why last night was so fun and so bad at the same time.

Nothing could have prepared me for THAT VOICE. How shall I describe that voice? It was very loud, it was whiny! Yes, yes, whiny was the word. I don’t want to use the overused “fingernails on a chalkboard” description because it was worse than that. Asia Agcaoili(?) was the owner of that whiny voice. She was such a lousy emcee, Jody and I were making fun of her three-fourths of the time we were there. And the crowd seemed to think so too, because they were not as responsive as they should be. Even her skimpy outfit and all that splaying her legs wide in front of a huge male audience didn’t help salvage her lousiness in emceeing. Ang sagwa talaga. A guy even hollered “You’re a wh*re!” (that’s mean!).

Quotable quotes include her screaming “EF-EYCH-EM’s WAN HANDRED SEKSIYEST FIMEYLS, PI-LI-PI-NO BERSHONNNN!” every time she introduced the various batches of females; “YU NOOOUUU…” (You know…) “Thank you for voting us” from one participant, “WEYL…” (Well) I think Asia was trying hard on having an Ah-mey-ri-can accent, a certain “TWEYNG” (twang) and she failed miserably.

“Her accent sounds so…so…ahhh…vulgar, it’s not refined…” I told Jody.
With a semi-hurt and a puppy dog look in her face, and mirth twinkling in her eyes, she replied, “Uy, wag kang ganyan. Taga-UP yan…” Seconds later, we dissolved into giggles.
I was shocked. “WHAAAAT? UP people don’t talk like that!” The ones I know don’t, anyway. I guess UP does have a wide diversity of people.
She continued, “Ikinahihiya ko na taga UP siya…” Yup yup I totally understand. Sometimes I feel that way about Kris Aquino, hehehe. And it’s not as if Ateneo doesn’t have people like Asia as well.

Chicago’s “He Had It Coming” was completely slaughtered by those sexy star wannabes. I can’t recall their names but man, Renee and Catherine would’ve had heart attacks if they saw that frightful rendition. Eww. There was a nearly scandalous close up of Belinda Bright’s crotch on the two big-screen TVs found on both edges of the stage when she performed a slow-moving helicopter dance step. The other girls who performed were Francine Prieto, Jenny Hernandez, ahm…Sheree, the Viva hotbabes, ahmm….basta a lot of sexy stars who weren’t really dancing (man, they can’t dance to save their lives) but rather slinking, shaking their booty and showing their cleavage on stage in their oh-so-skimpy outfits. And the men were wild. As expected. But I’m betting they weren’t as wild as last year’s event, according to Pao. There was something flat about the whole production, and it’s partly because of that lousy emcee. Hay. But I enjoyed (dissing) the event. Seriously Ü

Sexiness doesn’t have to mean baring your body for the world to see. It can be something small like the way you eat strawberries, for example. I think sexiness is best conveyed if it is unconscious, or leaves a lot to the imagination. But I guess the males just wanted to get a live glimpse of the bodies they have been fantasizing for so long now. Lust and testosterone were spinning wildly about last night. But it was flat. It wasn’t…alive.

We didn’t finish the party because we were too hot and too tired from all that standing. We left when the fashion show came about. And that’s that.

I may not be able to take my vacation this July! Bummer bummer bummer. I guess that's the price I have to pay for having a job like mine. I do enjoy it, really. It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm on the verge of a full-blown burn out. Add to that my unfinished business with you-know-who (yeah, I'm talking about Voldemort) and I'm an inch away from bawling my heart out. I haven't cried in such a long, long time, the last tear fest was in my college grad rites back in 2002. I was near tears during my friend Tin's wedding, but that doesn't count. I've just realized that I have been blessed to have not encountered anything hurtful during the past three years that reduced me to tears, and the lists below are mainly the reasons why.

Whenever I feel out of sorts, I always remember my favorite things. And then I get reminded that life is not so bad after all.

These are a few of my favorite (material) things…they make my life easier.

1. My Bible. The only book I turn to whenever I’m confused. I will make more time to read it.
2. Pieces of jewelry: My watch, given to me by my mum, earrings from my parents for my college grad, and three rings: a diamond with a platinum band from my dad, a silver ring with two dolphins on both ends, and another silver belt-ring.
3. Food: Sushi, Isaw, Chocolates, ChocNut, freshly squeezed juices. Oh, and anything that’s libre. Hahaha.
4. My books – too many to mention
5. My gadgets: Shmooshy, E----- Gorgeous 1 n 2, Spiff
6. A black Esprit pencil case given to me by Marjo on my 18th birthday. I still use it up to now Ü
7. The MRT. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love the way you bring me from North Edsa to Makati in a mere 30 mins on a Monday rush hour morning. I love the way you breeze past the traffic jam along EDSA on the way home. Mwahahahahaha.
8. My deep pink Nike flip flops. The one reason why I don’t have varicose veins from those high heels I wear at the office.
9. My concealer. Effectively conceals what I want to conceal.
10. The gorgeous bronze bag my officemates gave me for my last birthday.

And these are just the material things that I put value to.

My favorite people in no particular order: (watch out for these people. They could easily steal your heart and never give it back to you)

1. My family. They drive me crazy, but so what?
2. Law. One of the few who could knock some sense into me even as I frustrate him into oblivion. But he loves me anyway.
3. Jae. My stress and shock absorber, probably the most patient guy in the whole wide world. I miss this guy big time =(
4. Marjorie – I really, really miss this girl so much. I shall call her at once!
5. Loren – hhhaaaaaa girl, where are you??? Come back here already!!! Leave those gorgeous Chinese guys and the snow in China and haul your butt here next to mine! =(
6. Jo and Cris! Loveliest girls I’ve ever met.
7. Minette and Jayvee Reyes. Minette: Homely girl-next-door type, really gorgeous, and generously feeds me whenever I’m over at her house. Jayvee: Panalo ka sa mga hirit, chief! (I put them together coz they're married! Nah, they just share the same surname and birthday. Hihihihihi.)
8. My high school clique (naks, clique daw kami) Cristina, Jack, Sally, Abigail, Minnie and Jacq. We met in 1994, gosh, it’s been a decade, girls! Cheers!
9. My co-BMP trainees (Oli, Jen, Jody, Sigrid, Jane, Anne, Alona, Olive, Brad, Bart, Dan, Andrew, Jerome, Ben, JJ, Ryan, Erick and William): we may have factions and whatnot, but heck, I’d never want you any other way. To the girls: You have been really great. To the guys: Uhm...peace na tayo? Hihihihihihi.
10. Jonas: a recent addition. Twin brother of Jae, one of the most sensible people I know. He’s crazy, too.
11. I just have to add these two: Jenny and Carlo. Wonderful, wonderful people from my former office. They're usually the first ones to bear the brunt of my rants. Jenny is always thoughtful, Carlo always has a lazy drawl in his voice.

I have so many things to be grateful for. I haven't even put up one fourth of my gratitude list yet! Haaa, life's so beautiful!!! See, I'm chipper already!

Honesty

Being honest makes things so much easier. You don't have to remember the lies you've told, and to whom you've told them to. You carry less emotional baggage, you have a clean conscience. Telling the truth may be painful, but it can be very liberating at the same time.

This is me, pissed off, my raw emotions at its purest. Why the intro on honesty, you ask? I was, am disappointed with one of my uh, so-called friends. I found out today that he (yes, it's a he) lied about one tiny, insignificant thing. You may think I am blowing this out of proportion, but hear me out. The fact that he had to lie about such a tiny little thing just got to me. I mean, why lie about a trivial thing? I thought he was beyond all of it, I thought he was mature enough not to play games like that, that he was man enough to tell the truth. But I was dead wrong. So dead wrong. I had a hunch that he was doing that for some time now. In fact, I was really disappointed because I can't even count on the very foundation of our 'friendship'. I am seriously doubting if there was a true friendship in the first place. You can't have the basis of a friendship founded on lies. Maybe it's the fact that I got used to my friends who were telling the truth all the time. I kid you not. I have an amazing set of friends who rarely lies, heck, I can't even recall a lie that they've uttered. Insults, yes, but lies? No, I don't think so.

I made a vow before that I would always strive for the truth in every aspect of my life - especially in uttered words, because it can be easily corrupted. I find no sense in lying - there's a difference in keeping quiet, and withholding the truth, but that's another story. I do struggle once in a while. It's painful at first, the adherence to the truth, but once you get used to it, it becomes easier and it becomes almost second nature. In the book "A Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck, the hardest part in the principle of discipline is the adherence to the truth in all aspects. Arrrgghh. I can't remember everything that I've read, I'm in too much emotional stress right now.

I called up Law and ranted. He remarked, "You know, that guy's making you jaded." I agree. How could he, how could he?

It's been so hard for me to learn to let go of things and people that are not worth my time. I have given that friend so many chances to redeem himself in my eyes, but bloody hell, he just keeps on scr*wing up.

I just need to let it go. Have it his way. I have to forgive myself for my stupidity in thinking, maybe this time he'll tell the truth. Ahhh, blast it.

A Delayed Tribute to My Mum

Last Sunday was Mother's Day. I didn't buy my mum any fancy thing for the sole reason that I cannot afford any material thing she has her eyes on at present. I know of a few of her woman heart desires - mostly jewels, which she claims she'll pass on to me when the right time came. What I did instead, in lieu of any material gift, was the comfort of my presence in her bed for two nights in a row, three, if I do it again tonight. Yes, I still sleep beside my mum, although as I grew up I spent less time sleeping beside her and more time sleeping by myself in my queen- sized bed.

I don't have any idea how lonely it was to sleep in such a big bed, since I have always been alone. But my mum's situation is different. She has a husband who cannot be with her, a dad who cannot be with us because they wanted their children to live a very comfortable life. They have given me everything that I could ever want. All I have to do is ask, and they almost trip over themselves, scurrying over to grant my wish. My dad was the provider, my mum the implementer. Only she would have the patience to wait up for me until the wee hours of the morning, because mums are just like that - they couldn't possibly sleep knowing that their brood is not yet complete. It's only now, when I turned twenty three and my younger brother turned twenty one did she manage to fall asleep even if we're not home yet, but I'll bet my whole ass that she knows what forsaken hour my bro and I come home whenever we go out. I have led an easy life because of her, and for that I am very grateful.

For mum's day I bought her two atrociously expensive cream puffs she loves so much - Beard Papa, it was called, made from Japan's finest ingredients. It's a very small price to pay for everything she has done for me. I have a lot of friends who tell me I am so darned lucky to have parents like them. And I agree.

I believe they have done their utmost in raising my brother and I to a very comfortable life. They have raised me well. I believe my parents, especially my mum, swell with pride whenever they hear their friends comments, and my guy friends' observations about me (well, maybe not the mataray part). And they should. It was partly because of them I am this way. Although both mum and dad have been hinting (more frequently, if I may add) that they wouldn't mind at all if one of these days I let them meet a delightful young man...(ha. In your dreams! Hehehehe)

I WANT A HOLIDAY!!!! VACATION!!! WHATEVER! JUST GET ME AWAY FROM WORK!

I really, really want a loooonnnng holiday for myself. Long, like a month off from work (fat chance of that happening! Especially after this week's developments!) My body is nearly screaming for the beach and Orchard Road.

What I really want to do for the rest of my life is travel and see the world. If I had unlimited income, I would be happily living in some hut by the beach in Morocco, then in a quaint town in Stratford-upon-Avon, and then in a condo in Manhattan, and then...well, you get the idea. There's so much diversity found in the world today, and I am hungry for all that knowledge. I always tell my friends that my dream job was to be one of those hosts from Lakbay TV, Discovery Channel, National Geographic or Star News Asia. Second is to be a flight attendant: that's the next best thing to being a travel show host, I get to go to countries for free. My job right now lets me travel in key Philippine cities for a few days at a time, and I guess that's not so bad after all. This month alone I'll go to Davao, Bacolod and Iloilo, and after doing my stuff for work, I'm free, free, free to spend the day. It's a start.

But before I see the world I'd like to see majority of my own country first. If it weren't for my job right now, the ONLY place I will have ever been to outside of Luzon is Kalibo and Boracay. There's so much beauty in the landscape and the people of the Philippines, it's just sad that most Filipinos don't realize that fact. They think there are greener pastures outside of this country. I admit that we have a long way to go, but COME ON, the pinoy islands and its people are not that bad.

But anyway! Back to my wailings. I really, really want to have a vacation! Mum and I are supposed to take a week off in July to visit my dad and go island hopping and wait for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I just hope I'd be allowed to take that week off...sniff...sniff...